a little note in the meantime…

Hi everyone!

I’m currently working on Part 2 of my post on Summer Camp (Part 1 here: https://sweetersugar.wordpress.com/2012/04/10/summer-camp-churns-out-child-soldiers-for-christ-part-1/)!

I realize it has taken me so long to write the follow up and for you regular readers, I really apologize for my lack of timeliness. While it’s true that I’ve never been so busy in my entire life, if I get really honest, that’s not why I haven’t written. I always make time for the things I care about, and my blog is one of them. This writing is incredibly important to me.

The truth is that good, clever Christian writing is really the result of a fresh word from the Lord coupled with a vulnerable spirit.

I don’t think I’ve really had either lately, so all I’ve had to offer you is a little witty story, not the spiritual encouragement I so badly want to bless you with.

Honestly, the Holy Spirit convicted me of not being vulnerable the other day. When you are so determined to hold it all together, the relationships that you love most miss out on the best part of you. Even you miss out of the best part of you. It’s our exposed, overflowing hearts that make us special, unique, loveable. Relatable. Honest.

I think I’ve kept my heart from the very God I love so much for some time now – I keep showing up, putting in some amount of effort…but not giving Him my heart. Not trusting Him with my needs, not giving Him any of my weakness. I’ve been carrying it by myself in an effort to avoid any more hard lessons He may or may not have to throw at me. I give him my 50%, and want to recieve 100% of what He has for me.

It’s a terrible plan.

I certainly can’t receive His love and all of His beautiful presence – receive the fresh word – when I’m so determined to withhold intimacy just in case He has to teach me a lesson that hurts. If all I do is self-protect by being 100% business, I need to realize that I’m 100% self destructing. I’m not witholding from Him anything He doesnt already know! Instead, I’m the victim of my own self protection, continuing in a vacuum of self, holding more tightly onto the very things He is trying to break me of rather that committing to being beautifully broken and then restored by His process.

So as I come to the throne room, 100% me, honest and emotional, I’m going to rehearse His promises for as long as it takes for me to see them unfold, trust that He loves my heart so much I can give Him all of my vulnerability and Part 2 will be the most fabulous piece of writing I’ve ever posted!

2 thoughts on “a little note in the meantime…

  1. well said.. even in ‘earthly’ relationships we risk receiving a mere % of the love we so crave from others when we only expose a % of our hearts. We fail to trust them with our true selves. We hedge our bets in hopes that they will love the “part ” we risk enough to return the ” whole ” we seek. Doesn’t work there either.
    God ,who gave his all at Calvary , demands our all in return. He seeks ‘risk takers’ knowing that only in giving ourselves in light of Galatians 2:20 can we truly experience “Christ in me, the hope of glory”
    Keep writing sweet young lady.. thy gift shines through the darkness
    l’Shalom
    Ken

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